


Side Quests

by PrettyPrompto



Series: Everyone's Grudge [5]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Other, crack crack crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:24:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22827133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyPrompto/pseuds/PrettyPrompto
Summary: Boro and the gang are sent on a quest by a mysterious stranger.
Series: Everyone's Grudge [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1641061





	Side Quests

Boro gnashed his teeth furiously, hissing his rage as he undulated, turning his body so that he could glare at his foe.

"If I knew that you were gonna play like a total bitch I never would have turned it on!“ 

Boro threw his controller at Prickface, who instantly launched into an angry torrent of Cactuese, springing and flipping once before he unleashed 1000 Needles onto the malboro. Boro lost his shit, tentacles flying, grabbing whatever he could reach be it lamp, wifi router, additional domestic background object. He hurled them one after another though Prickface easily evaded them. Mukberry came waddling into the room at high speed, for him, yelling at the two as he approached. 

”Stop it!“

Boro and Prickface turned to face him. Five minutes pass as Mukberry continues heading for them. Then as he reaches the area of effect he hurls his lantern between the two. It smashes and oil splatters out, flames following. Boro hissed and reached out with two tentacles, snaking one around Prickface and the other around Mukberry. He turned and slithered for the door as the flames spread, catching the curtains and spreading across the couch. The three creatures watched as their hunter’s cabin was fully engulfed and Mukberry blinked his bulbous eyes as Boro rounded on him. 

"You idiot! What are we going to do now!? How will I check my blog!?”

Mukberry summoned a new lantern to his hand and shrugged. 

"Not like you do anything with it anyway!“ 

"You mucked up now bitch!” Boro raised his tentacles, readying to strike when a smooth, oily voice suddenly rang out theatrically. 

"Trouble at home? I do so hate to see friends fighting each other.“ The red-haired man leaned against the fence nearby, watching the group of angry creatures with a curious smile. 

Boro crossed his tentacles over his body and hissed at the stranger. "What’s it to you Dumpster Dave, hm?”

The man’s eyes widened and he tilted his head as he murmured to himself. “I can’t say that I have heard that one before. ” He strolled closer, seemingly taking stock of the group, then gave a little bow. “I thought that I might offer a bit of assistance." 

Boro swung his eye stalks to scan his friends before he said. "Yeah alright Layers, hit me with it." 

The red-haired man pouted but didn’t comment, instead explaining. "To the northeast dwells an ancient being who can offer guidance. You will know him when you see him." 

Boro scowled and slithered for the gate, gesturing for Prickface and Mukberry to follow. "Alright, Thriftshop, if you say so." 

The red-haired man pursed his lips as he watched the trio of creatures leaving, then he smiled and headed toward wherever villains go when they aren’t evil-doing. 

Boro slithered along some time later, stopping every now and then to allow the other two to catch up. Finally Mukberry stopped and asked. "Where are we going anyway? This creepy old dude gave us this vague set of instructions and we’re just doing it?" 

Boro said. "Yeah, it’s called a Quest numb nuts! Some weirdo tells you to do something and you do it, that’s how it’s done!" 

And so they continued on. Eventually they came upon a pond set back into a small wooded area, with a little cabin. A sign at the door said ‘Dizzy’s Place’. 

Outside were strewn empty, and sometimes half empty bottles of Banora Splash. Boro held up a tentacle and frowned, looking around. Then he saw the angler, who must be Dizzy, asleep in a chair by the water. He slithered up and rolled her into the water. And then she died. 

"Guess we got a new place now, eh Dizzy?” he whapped her ass with a tentacle, then slithered inside. 

The three friends made a snack of recently caught fishes, relaxing in the cabin a while before moving on. 

After many days the band of unlikely adventurers came up a small outpost and stopped outside a rowdy bar. 

"I don’t think we should go in there!“ Yelled Prickface, but he was speaking Cactese and so no one gave a shit. 

Boro slithered inside, followed by the others and stopped short as he saw a man holding up a little boy’s arm, an unconscious man at his feet. 

"And once again Talcott wins!” The crowd cheered and groaned, exchanging the money they had bet on the match. 

Talcott saw Boro and sauntered up to him, saying. “Yo Tentacles, you want some of this?" 

Boro’s eyes widened and he murmured to the others. "Oh I like him." 

He turned to Talcott and said. "Yeah I’ll take you on!" 

The two faced off in the ring, Talcott circling Boro like a boxer. He came in for the hit and Boro wrapped his right most tentacle around his neck, tightening it. He swung the boy up and threw him over his head. Talcott hit the floor and got up in a quick flip learned from a certain blond. 

That set Boro off. Hard. 

He flailed his tentacles as he went for him and it was soon over, Talcott knocked out cold on the floor. There were groans all around as Prickface collected the winnings and Boro stripped the boys Malboro charm bracelet off of him. 

The band moved on, beer bottles in hand, laughing and cavorting into the sunset. 

Several days later they finally found what they sought. Before them rose a tall ass turtle-mountain, and they knew that this was who they had been sent to find. They headed for the mountain and as they approached it’s feet it opened one of its eyes and peered down at them before rumbling out. 

"I am Adamantoise The Wise. What knowledge do you seek travelers?" 

Boro called back. "I want to know the best way to kill the rat bastard who blew my tentacles off! His name is Twinkles-uh, no. Prompto! That’s his name!" 

Adamantoise rumbled thoughtfully and answered. "The twink likes chocobos. Gather the chocobos of the wild and he will come to you.”

"That’s genius!“ Boro exclaimed. "I will Oh Great One!" 

And so with their quest fulfilled they moved on, hoping to one day soon have Prompto right where they wanted him.


End file.
